If you hadn’t already noticed from the influx of mother related posts on social media (this included), greeting cards, chocolates, flowers and all the trinkets you could ever want being thrown in your face in shops -it’s Mothers Day today.
I was in bed, about 120 seconds ago and I was googling & browsing Pinterest for Mothers Day quotes. I wasn’t looking for one that embodied how I feel about mine, I was looking for how I feel about me.
I am mam/mummy/Tash…depending on who’s asking and what mood they are in. I am the anchor of my modest family unit. I am the be all and end all of two little people’s lives. I mean, I knew I was but it just jolted me into action today, I jumped out of bed, fired up my Mac and here I am.
Mothers Day, a day to cherish your mother and/or mother figure/s. A day to make them feel special and appreciated. I feel it is a day for Mothers to appreciate themselves too. Of course I will acknowledge the day and call my Nain, the boys will call my Mam. I will visit my Nanny Brown next week. But I would do that anyway.
Right now I just want to talk about how absolutely amazing it is that we are functioning (even basic functioning is functioning) people who keep little people alive and as well as possible, whilst usually simultaneously running a household and/or a job too.
The pressure of being THE BEST MAM EVER BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BEST AND ITS EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZY FOR YOU TO GET ONE TO SWIMMING AND THE OTHER TO GET DRESSED WHEN HE ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT WEAR PANTS TODAY BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT TO AND IS PLAYING IN THE POTTY WHILST THE HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN FROM YOUR ORGANIC HOME MADE GLUTEN, WHEAT, ALLERGEN FREE LASAGNE WITH CARB FREE PASTA THAT COSMO* SAID I COULD DO IN 5 MINS OR LESS WITH 1 INGREDIENT.
I HAVE TO DO ALL THIS SHIT AND BE COMPLETELY FINE ALL THE TIME AND HAVE PERFECT HAIR AND NO I’M NOT ILL I’M JUST NOT WEARING MAKEUP AND I’M WEARING PRIMARK, WITH A SIDE OF KETCHUP – everyday actually, THANKS FOR ASKING. (Trusty leggings that double up as serviettes)
There are times when i’ve moaned, there are times I’ve cried but really – I wouldn’t have it any other way!!
I would not go back and do it all differently– I Brownie Guide Promise you. It’s not a trick to get you to become a parent too. It’s not a trap (I’ve seen those posts also)
I’d go back and relish every moment, every second again, every painful lesson, every sleepless night as much as I do now, at this moment. Because as cliche as it really does sound, it goes so fast.
In the moment, the first 6-8
weeks years of parenthood seem so hard, so challenging, so stressful. That’s because they are. Is there anything worth having that is not challenging, hard work or compromise? (I will eat this flake because it’s delicious and I will compromise with an extra wobble on my thigh)
I’ve never loved someone so much that I feel I could combust before Kai was born. I love him so much I even had a tiny niggling doubt that I couldn’t ever love my next child as much as I love Kai because the love is all consuming, there’s no room surely? I love him with all of my being…. (really tiny small doubt parenting police) Then, sure enough Milo is born and there you have it, you love two (or 3 or 4 or 5 or you’re crazy) people soooo much that you can’t describe it. You are nothing, they are everything and that is life and that is that.
But, I am someone, I am a person too, I forgot many times over the last 8 years that it’s okay to get things wrong, it’s okay to raise your voice and not feel guilty, it’s okay to wish they’d go to bed already when it’s only 4pm on a Sunday. It means nothing, it means you’re human. Almost all of my ‘mummy friends’ have second guessed themselves at some point. We wouldn’t be good mothers if we didn’t.
Lessons I have learned that won’t change your life:
- Chocolate won’t make them grow a tail if they have it before age 1
- You can co-sleep until they are ready to move on
- You can put them in their own room when you feel ready
- You can survive on 2 hours sleep, if you try really hard
- You can wash in under 30 seconds
- You can avoid all conversation on the school run with a decent hooded coat
- You can’t talk on the phone to PPI whilst changing a nappy, whilst playing i-spy with another and making home made pancakes and walking the dog.
- You can do whatever suits your lifestyle as long as you have your children’s best interests as priority and know you are doing something safely.
The point to this really long post is that we are not all the same and that is what makes this world unique, we haven’t all had perfect upbringings, if perfect even exists. We do our best and that is all we can do for our babies. Parenting isn’t for everyone, much like the gym. Travel may be your adventure, you may be flying high in your dream career, maybe you’re doing that plus parenting and more, either way I am happy for anyone living their adventure.
Today, I am here, my boys Kai and Milo are here. I love them to the moon and the stars, around all the planets and the rockets and the rainbows and the birds and the clouds and all the way back** and they love me. This means I am the luckiest person on the planet right now. I feel lucky, I feel thankful and I feel tired.
No, I may not feel like this every minute to come but I know that I would rather be navigating through life’s lessons with them than without for the rest of my days. There are people, relatives, friends that are living without their children present physically, navigating through a journey unexpected. But mothers they will always be. I do not take that for granted.
So, to celebrate this day I am going to watch films with Kai and then I am going to do really awful (on my part) drawings with Milo, eat a full Nestle’s Dairy Box and cuddle them 50,000 times.
Adventure || An unusual and exciting or daring experience
My children are my adventure, stay safe on yours.
Happy Mothers Day
*Could be any magazine, I don’t read them
**This is real life escalation since my blog post 3.