{life} 3

This time 3 years ago I was in absolute agony (really really real agony) delivering my second son while my then partner (now husband) frantically mopped up the house from burst water pipes. He never told me at the time & it obviously wasn’t planned for because, well he should have been there with me, getting verbally abused. Instead of Jane.
Jane is the mother of my boys Godfather and was my acupuncturist at the time, do you get it?!

I’m sorry Jane. I really didn’t mean it when I said the F word. You were just being too nice and calm for me to handle. I was in unbearable pain on nothing but paracetamol and I wanted to scream at Dylan. But, he was mopping. Priorities 

I’m really glad you visited. 

I’m so thankful you came back.

Random, unplanned, unexpected but in hindsight- totally right. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to be there.


Milo was induced 10 days early. He was induced because he didn’t move much, I had to blast Rudimental “Feel the love” in the car or take a hot or cold bath to get him to wriggle. By 38 weeks nothing would get him to move & the doctor decided to air on the side of caution.

So at 00:06 on 19th November 2012 after a horrendous 24 hours my heart that previously was one, split right down the middle and is now wandering around in two forms. Two equally loved, beautiful boys.

Kai 2007 & Milo 2012 -i-Phone photos

Don’t ask me to explain that, because I can’t. It just is.

Shortly after birth I was staring at Milo and he was staring at me. I was crying tears of exhaustion and elation, pride. He took a deep breath, then nothing. I waited, I looked at him and I knew he wasn’t breathing.

The moments that came after are a blur, but I know I did a lot of shouting. Screaming. One midwife said he was fine, she came to that conclusion not by checking him but by judging his skin colour from accross the room. Luckily the other was actually listening to me: Milo was scooped out of my arms. He was limp.

It suddenly seemed like every doctor in the world was in the room. When it had previously been 2 midwives.

An eternity later (seconds) Milo was breathing and back in my arms.

I cried tears of relief, frustration and  still, exhaustion.

But he was here. He was safe. We are lucky.

Kai had his brother that he’d been asking for relentlessly for 2 years, and what a fantastic brother Kai is.

November 2012
December 2012

Funnily enough Kai stopped requesting siblings soon after, I asked him why not long ago and his response was, “well it is very hard work being a big brother and I’m not sure I’m ready for that again, aaand Milo is my best friend”.

Two little humans relying on me to guide them, teach them values and life skills.I am not exaggerating when I say that I have no idea who I was or what I did before August 2007 but when I became ‘Mam’, I became me. Cliché but true.

2013

I live for my boys and they are and will forever be my biggest achievement.

November 2015

Milo Reece, it’s almost midnight. Which means you’re almost three. It’s going so fast.

Milo’s First birthday
Milo’s Second birthday
Milo’s Third birthday

You are so funny, stubborn, and dry. Just like your mam. (😬) You surprise me every day with your words and actions in the best way. Being your mam is a privilege and I hope we have many many more birthdays together.

 


I love you to the moon & the stars & the rainbows & the planets and all the way back to….
You.

Mam x


***I’ve tried to keep this brief, so I’ve skimmed over details & excessive cursing. But, feel free to talk birth stories with me at any time- I love them! My only regret is I didn’t pursue my passion before Kai & Milo’s birth and have more to show than phone images. That regret spurred my “Watch Me Grow” packages. (Birth photography is still a dream 😉)**

{If you don’t think photos are important, wait until they are all you have left-Missy Mwac}

5 thoughts on “{life} 3

  1. Being a mother myself i found this story touching and emotional.. so glad I and the kids got to celebrate milos birthday with him and his family was a lovely day.. beautiful story … beautiful pictures … beautiful boy HAPPY BIRTHDAY

    Tash Dylan Kai Milo
    💛💛💛💛
    Melissa Adaora Tochi Kamdi

    Liked by 1 person

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